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2007/06/01, 07:18 PM
I had to share :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
Subject: Water vs Wine
>>
>>
>>>
>>>
>>> After a number of carefully controlled trials,
>>> scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each
>> day,
>>> at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of
>>> Escherichia
>>> coli, (E. coli) bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are
>>> consuming 1 kilo of Poop.
>>>
>>> However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey or
>>> other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process
>>> of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
>>>
>>> Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health
>>>
>>> Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink
>>> water and be full of shit.
>>>
>>> There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing
>>> it as a public service.
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THE NATURAL WAY IS THE ONLY TRUE PATH TO SUCCESS, PRIDE, JOY, HAPPINESS, LONG TERM FULFILLMENT AND SELF-ESTEEM!
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2007/06/02, 02:12 AM
LMAO! Good information :-)
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2007/06/02, 09:16 AM
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the feces out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me".
12)The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry".
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
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2007/06/02, 09:56 AM
I guess Lindsay Lohan really does know what she's doing.:laugh:
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2007/06/02, 11:14 AM
I love a good joke:laugh:
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THE NATURAL WAY IS THE ONLY TRUE PATH TO SUCCESS, PRIDE, JOY, HAPPINESS, LONG TERM FULFILLMENT AND SELF-ESTEEM!
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