|
2003/06/06, 06:47 PM
Ok, just out of curiousity I'm going to post a little survey. Here's the question.. How long would you date someone before moving in together? (with the knowledge that SO FAR everything is going very well) I've been dating this GREAT girl for about a month now.. and in a couple months she'll be moving to my area. She needs an appartment and is rather low on cash. I happen to have a big condo and could really use a roomate to help with rent. (but I'm not so desparate that I would get a complete stranger for a roomie) I'd love to help her out.. and help myself in the process.. but I don't want to shoot our relationship in it's proverbial foot. But facts aside.. how long would you wait?
ps Just a sidenote: She is the coolest. A fitness buff.. and a degree in nutrition! We've been learning alot from eachother. Super happy fellow here. =)
--------------
Dont wait! Procrastinate NOW! =)
|
|
|
|
2003/06/06, 08:45 PM
I'd wait. Maybe see if any of your friends need an extra roommate or something...but I wouldn't suggest asking her to stay with you (at least not indefinitely).
Why?
She's new to the area and needs to meet other people outside of you and your friends. A month is really not that long - especially if you're long distance now. Is money a really good reason to live together?
That said, happy to hear that well, you're happy :)
BTW - random roomies can end up being cool. I'm thinking about the girl I lived w/my freshman year...the random we found for our house when one guy left...all very cool. Course, random roomies are not unheard of out here in the Bay Area - we're all transplants & need help affording housing! www.craigslist.org/ is fantastic if they're in your city. Good luck!
-Krb
|
|
2003/06/07, 12:03 AM
We met in November, we moved in together in Feb. We got married in June and just had our first anniversary last sunday. I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world.
--------------
I will lift my own weight someday!!!!!
THE NATURAL WAY IS THE ONLY TRUE PATH TO SUCCESS, PRIDE, JOY, HAPPINESS, LONG TERM FULFILLMENT AND SELF-ESTEEM!
|
|
2003/06/07, 12:05 AM
I second kirby. Moving in with someone isn't something you should let happen on a whim. There's relationship stuff you guys should workout beforehand. If you want to be a cool guy- help her find a place to live that she can afford on her own. The personal effort you put into that project is sure to impress her. Finding a place is hard, crappy work. (In the Bay Area it's Hard, Crappy work from HELL.) Having someone do most of that work for you is like diamond earrings and red roses kind of cool.
|
|
2003/06/07, 02:35 PM
Thanks fot the input ladies. I was planning on waiting, but mostly wanted to ask out of curiosity. I would certainly hate to hurt the relationship by pushing it too quickly too early. All in good time I suppose.
Wow Sandy.. now that's fast paced romance! Congratulations on your first anniversary!
--------------
Dont wait! Procrastinate NOW! =)
|
|
2003/06/07, 02:45 PM
My hb and I met in Jan, were moving in together by March or April, engaged before June, waited a year to be sure but were married the following May, just had our seventh anniversary and our daughter just had her fifth birthday! Things are still going strong, too! :)
Really sometimes it works, sometimes not, only you two can make the final call.
Sandy, I just read your story and it is *amazing*. Cognrats on your anniversary.
|
|
2003/06/09, 02:16 AM
drio, having read all that had been said, let's put all that aside. When it comes to love and relationships, they all move at such different paces, fast slow, really slow, or even not at all. I could not tell yes or no to you to not having her move in with yuo cause I am not in this relationship, you and her are. I would suggest, taking a step back and analyze your relationship with her now as it stands. i guess what i mean is put yourself on the outside looking in, do you see that you two have a healthy relationship, can work through conflicts semi easy, have no troubles communicating, can live with each others' day to day lifestyles and if not, learn to compromise? all these play an important factor in relationships, not just love, you can love someone and hate every little thing that they do..lol. The second suggestion would be to sit her down seriously and let her know what you are THINKING, not what you want to do, but this has been in your thoughts lately, ask her what she would think about it, make sure when doing so, try not to take whatever answers may come to heart, after all you both are in a new and exciting relationship. Ask her to think on it for a bit and you will do so as well and set a time when both of you will discuss it again. (This is very importnant cause it will make a final decision on this issue) If you find that you can't come out and let her know what you are thinking about, maybe its not the time to ask her. I hope this helps you out and also for the record, Ravenwolf and I met on the internet, by chance March, finally met in person after talking online on April and loved in together by Middle of May, we are getting married this October having been together 2 years now and it is still going great, and that is good considering what a fired up little brat i am...lol
So you see, it is hard to say yes or no on your question, my best answer for you would be to do what Ravenwolf and I did, follow your heart, if it really feels right, then go for it. Life is too short to let good things pass you by and if it ends up not working with the living situation, you two can discuss and leave as a positive note that you had a chance to be with each other and it was a wonderful time indeed. Take care and good luck!
--------------
Bettia.... The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
|
|
2003/06/09, 08:31 AM
Thanks JessicaR and RB for your input. Sounds like alot of you have had great luck out there. I've thought about it a little more.. and I've realized I really don't know her well enough yet to make that leap. (and she doesn't know me well enough) She's great.. don't get me wrong. But it's still so early in the relationship that we're "high" on the newness of it all. I'm going to hold off a bit longer. I've talked with her about it, and she's in favor of waiting also.
I have a tendancy to jump into things too quickly. -giving my all and exposing myself fully to the person I'm with. I actually just got burnt bad about 4 months ago. I jumped WAY too quickly into a relationship and the whole thing blew up in my face. So I really should have learned my lesson at this point. Sigh.. the things we do for love.
Ow! Fire! Ow! Hot! Ow! *touches it one more time* Ow! =)
-Andy-
--------------
Dont wait! Procrastinate NOW! =)
|
|
2003/06/09, 10:11 AM
"still so early in the relationship that we're "high" on the newness of it all"
That is such a fun time! Enjoy it. It sounds like you're making a smart decision - I always jumped into things too quickly, too, still do - so I appreciate how hard it is to wait. LOL
|
|
2003/06/09, 02:14 PM
Drio....that's so AWESOME!! to hear.
Sounds like everyone else has already given you advice...
So I'll skip a repeat.
Good luck! Hope everything works out for you.
|
