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2005/06/20, 10:04 AM
I don't normally ask for advice... but my last "serious" relationship was about three years ago and we broke up when i decided to get healthy and quit smoking, because she wasn't supportive of me changing and I didn't want to be around her smoking etc... Well it worked out for me! =)
But now I'm in another serious relationship, and once again I'm getting very into an active lifestyle of working out and eating right (I lapsed for a bit).
The problem is, she's not fat, but she's also not active and she has very fair skin. Now that it is sunny out, I want to go play tennis, bike, swim, and she doesn't really want to do any of that. I was really hoping to have a g/f where we coudl share in those kinds of activites.
So should I just be happy with what I have and call her up to go out to dinner and see movies... and just not call her on the nice days, so that I can still go off biking and swimming?
Or should I still try to include her on days that may be overcast to see if she might actually enjoy some of these activites once she tries them?
Thanks for any advice.
-Sleepless in Seattle j/k
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2005/06/20, 10:19 AM
I would just have your own time. I tried that route with my wife and thank God she does not like to lift. It would drive me nuts having her there.....just my two cents
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Less Talk, More Chalk!
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2005/06/20, 10:31 AM
haha good point
I was just thinking more in general.. like she wanted a dairy queen, and it was beautiful out, so I said, "Why dont' we bike over there?" Cause I have an extra bike and it's only like 1.5 miles.. but she freaked out on me. So I finalyl suggested she drive and meet me there, because if I was gonna have a dairy queen, I at least wanted a bit of exercise to get it haha
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2005/06/20, 11:31 AM
I'm in agreement with mutt.... Just have your own time. It will be better for your relationship in the long run anyway. She shouldn't freak out over a suggestion though, so it all really boils down to whether you really want to be around her, or a girl that's alittle more athletic. good luck.
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2005/06/20, 12:45 PM
as a female i have to agree with mutt and gangster too. i am in the same boat as you, just role reversal. :)
i love him just the way he is though. i believe our relationship is as strong as it is because of our time apart:love: it's been 4 years. if we can do it...so can you...
ganster's last statement is true, that's what it boils down to
good luck
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Kristi
There are no endings, only new beginnings
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2005/06/20, 12:55 PM
My sig line came as a direct result of trying to get my wife to start working out with or without me. Just give up. Love her like she is.
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Sometimes life is as easy as herding cats.
Charlie
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2005/06/20, 01:59 PM
I disagree - tell her to put on some sunscreen and buck up!
If you are living a fitm healthy lifestyle, you need a mate who is going to share that with you. If this relationship is serious you need to consider the future. Her health, or lack of, will eventually impact your life. Her reluctance to exercise will carry over to your children. It will also reduce her quality of life, not to mention the length, possibly.
My husband agrres to evening walks, family bike rides and lifts weights when he gets the time because he wants to grow old and be healthy with me. besides, that is quality time together.
That is not to say I force him to workout, but he decided it is necessary and does it out of love for himself, our daughter and me.
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Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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2005/06/21, 06:18 PM
beter to be apart and wish you was together.....then to be together and wish you was apart..
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gravity is not a law, only a obstacle
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2005/06/21, 08:48 PM
you and i seem to be agreeance a lot today andrew:big_smile::laugh::cool:
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Quoting from bigandrew:
beter to be apart and wish you was together.....then to be together and wish you was apart..
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Kristi
There are no endings, only new beginnings
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2005/06/21, 10:34 PM
great minds think alike
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gravity is not a law, only a obstacle
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2005/06/22, 04:26 AM
have to agree with asimmer on this one...
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2005/06/22, 12:38 PM
asimmer is exactly right. Coming from a female point of view. There are plenty of girls out there that like to be active, and they may not want to do everything with you but working out and being active together brings your relationship to a higher level. At least it has with me and my husband. We bond in a different way when we workout together, but we still do things on our own too. We have together workouts and Alone workouts. I think we help motivate each other, it keeps the competitive spirit alive in our relationship.:love: Hope you come to a solution soon.
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2005/06/22, 12:39 PM
asimmer is exactly right. Coming from a female point of view. There are plenty of girls out there that like to be active, and they may not want to do everything with you but working out and being active together brings your relationship to a higher level. At least it has with me and my husband. We bond in a different way when we workout together, but we still do things on our own too. We have together workouts and Alone workouts. I think we help motivate each other, it keeps the competitive spirit alive in our relationship.:love: Hope you come to a solution soon.
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2005/06/22, 02:59 PM
I think the bottom line is you have to do things together that you both enjoy--together--. I would get tired of being "dragged" off to do things I didn't want to do. However, I'm sure there are things you can do together that are fitness oriented. My husband will come to the gym with me on occasion, but we do our own thing while there then we go for a pint afterward (his reward). On the other hand, we golf together, rollerblade together and go for evening walks when the mood strikes us. To be honest, I don't really think of the fitness aspect, it is just what we enjoy doing. We did not do these things much in the early part of our relationship, they were things we discovered later. Most of our activities were "indoor" when we were dating :big_smile:
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2005/06/22, 04:21 PM
Well my wife dreads any type of physical activity...however we've been married for 10 years so I don't think I'll get rid of her because I've decided to lead a healthier lifestyle.
I have encouraged her to go to a gym, whether it's my gym or not is up to her (cause mine is near my work and out of her way). However getting her out of the house after dinner just to go for a walk with the kids can be a chore in itself.
Regardless she's 5'4" and 110 lbs and looks great(even after 2 children), so she figures she doesn't need to go to the gym or anything I guess. Someday I'll get her to go with me on a regular basis though...for now I wake up way to early for her to be getting out of bed anyways so it doesn't affect our time together.
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2005/06/22, 05:10 PM
sat what you want....but her choice is HER CHOICE....thats her god given right......to excercise or not to excercise. By trying to shove excercise and othe rthings in her face......you may drive her away , thinking your trying to "form" her into what YOU want.......you should lover her no matter what her decesion is....
Rodeny Dangerfield lived into his 80's ......drank, smoked....and know telling what else.....
let her live and be what she wants to be.....
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gravity is not a law, only a obstacle
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2005/06/23, 09:57 AM
I don't think you should make her exercise if she absolutely doesn't want to, but if all she needs is a little encouragement that's different.
I think the crux of the matter is whether YOU are prepared to compromise.
Personally I would rather be single, and able to go cycling on a sunny day (with my sunscreen!) than having to go to the cinema or McDonalds, but I know some people are prepared to make those sacrifices.
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The path to righteousness is a cycle path
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2005/06/23, 06:43 PM
To each his own. There are activities that you two will share and hopefully you both enjoy. Otherwise, what's the point? I'm not saying that you have to do everything together...but you should have some activities that you both enjoy.
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**_Robert_**
Pain is temporary; glory is forever!
E-mail: rpacheco@freetrainers.com
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2005/06/24, 05:27 AM
have to agree with princess....others make good points...but the gist is summed up best I think( for me at least) by asimmer and princess...
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2005/06/24, 02:42 PM
do your own thing man, and if she is into you she will be interested in a few of the activities you are involved in for sure. If not, pitch her and find another. :)
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