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Why do men cheat

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rickyshot Posts: 153 Joined: 2003/05/13	2006/12/21, 11:33 AM I am 52 divorced and lost all my relationships to cheating as well as other issues. What is it with men? Why do they cheat? I live in Montreal which has the ugliest, dryest, unfreindliest men on the planet and they still have the nerve to cheat. Of course I have lived in five cities and they all cheated and lied but atleast they were more interesting than these ones here. I have absolutely buzzard luck with mean. Just ranting sigh..........Holidays alone again........
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/12/21, 11:39 AM not all cheat...good majority...some are very well "behaved"...love: But thats funny....how DO ugly dry unfriendly men FIND the nerve to cheat? -------------- \\"If you had one shot...or one oppurtunity to seize all you ever wanted...in one moment...would you capture it...or just let it slip\\" eminem
msmogreen Posts: 717 Joined: 2006/04/22	2006/12/21, 11:41 AM All men don't cheat. It sounds like you are drawn to that type of guy. I have never had that experience and I just think I'm attracted to the type of guy who wouldn't cheat. Okay, my very first bf when I was 15 cheated--then confessed to it without me ever suspecting a thing. That relationship opened my eyes and for a while I didn't trust any guys. But I got over it--the next few guys were great.
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2006/12/21, 11:43 AM Interesting....I'm born and raised in Montreal and have been with the same lady for 32 years. -------------- A little discipline at the table and at the gym might help reduce that belly! Ivan Montreal Canada (City of Festivals)
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2006/12/21, 11:44 AM I solved the "cheat" issue when i met my wife....simplu told her she ever did it I would take out the guy and her LOL she said the same thing to me....one reason I married her -------------- Curl Jockeys, get outta the squat rack! Warning:Deadlifting going on! 7707mutt@freetrainers.com
	2006/12/21, 11:46 AM Your question is a little one sided don't you think. The men are most likely not cheating with each other. So why do women cheat ???????? -------------- Beyond Training, Beyond Experience, Nutrition Wins
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/12/21, 11:46 AM mutt......you scare me.... -------------- \\"If you had one shot...or one oppurtunity to seize all you ever wanted...in one moment...would you capture it...or just let it slip\\" eminem
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2006/12/21, 11:49 AM good -------------- Curl Jockeys, get outta the squat rack! Warning:Deadlifting going on! 7707mutt@freetrainers.com
rickyshot Posts: 153 Joined: 2003/05/13	2006/12/21, 11:49 AM Nope not drawn to that type. The moment I find out I am through. No second chance. I gave up a marriage of 15 years for the same reason years ago. Most women just put up with bad behaviour. I do NOT.......So I am alone
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/12/21, 11:50 AM Everybody knows why women cheat...if they do.... -------------- \\"If you had one shot...or one oppurtunity to seize all you ever wanted...in one moment...would you capture it...or just let it slip\\" eminem
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2006/12/21, 11:51 AM Good to see you back Rickyshot! -------------- A little discipline at the table and at the gym might help reduce that belly! Ivan Montreal Canada (City of Festivals)
msmogreen Posts: 717 Joined: 2006/04/22	2006/12/21, 11:51 AM Women do cheat. I have cheated (not proud of it) and I am constantly fighting attractions. I won't get married again because I don't trust myself. I have a great bf now yet have been very tempted by someone at work for the past 3 years. I've been good for 9 years, but it is a struggle.
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2006/12/21, 11:52 AM I was totaly serious. I looked for a few things in my mate. One-intelligence, I wanted someone to debate with, discuss with and my equal in intelligence, I lucked out my wife is way smarter than I am. Two-NON-Smoker, drinker, drug user...got that, Three-looks, my wife is simply a KNOCKOUT! All i asked for was to be cared for. I got that so I think I got the better deal LOL. But I also told her I would NEVER disrespect her and cheat etc....I asked the same. -------------- Curl Jockeys, get outta the squat rack! Warning:Deadlifting going on! 7707mutt@freetrainers.com
CristalBelle Posts: 1,389 Joined: 2003/06/27	2006/12/21, 11:53 AM There are plenty of reasons why men and women cheat. The question is whether or not it is worth working through with them. My hubby "went out" with another girl after we had dated for a year. Circumstances: He was 17, I was 19 and pregnant, and he was scared out of his gord. Was it worth working through that to get to where we are now? Absolutely. I am sorry you're alone for the Holidays though. I'm sending Happy Holiday vibes your way! :love:
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/12/21, 11:54 AM thats all good mutt....but to "take her out"...thats a little aggressive...punishment for cheating...death...interesting... -------------- \\"If you had one shot...or one oppurtunity to seize all you ever wanted...in one moment...would you capture it...or just let it slip\\" eminem
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2006/12/21, 11:56 AM Hey I call it like I see it. To me cheating is a very low thing to do and should be treated as such, maybe death is a bit to much but I am like that. "eye for and eye" LOL, ok so I would never really "take her out" but the guy would be beat. -------------- Curl Jockeys, get outta the squat rack! Warning:Deadlifting going on! 7707mutt@freetrainers.com
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/12/21, 11:59 AM eye for an eye wouldn't be death love bug.... I'm very big on eye for an eye... hurt me and be prepared to pay a high price.... You are very noble mutt...temptation is a powerful thing.... -------------- \\"If you had one shot...or one oppurtunity to seize all you ever wanted...in one moment...would you capture it...or just let it slip\\" eminem
msmogreen Posts: 717 Joined: 2006/04/22	2006/12/21, 12:16 PM The flesh is weak...ok mutt, maybe not yours. I never thought I would ever, ever, ever do something like that until it happened. Passion is a powerful thing.
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/12/21, 12:21 PM never say never....thats when life will turn around and bite you right in the butt....just keep your eyes open...if your not watchin' for it...it can sneak up on you and you won't even see it coming.... -------------- \\"If you had one shot...or one oppurtunity to seize all you ever wanted...in one moment...would you capture it...or just let it slip\\" eminem
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2006/12/21, 05:15 PM I was going to put in my two thoughts on this but I have to agree with Rickyshot, I too will not be with someone who cheats. Yes, passion is a very tempting thing, yes pressure from the opposite sex is sometimes hard to avoid, BUT I believe if you love the person you are with enough to make a commitment to them such as marriage, or even a long term relationship commitment, you should honor it! It is all mind over matter, literally and please if you know you are being tempted by someone or feel attraction for another person that you don't have with your significant other, at least have some cojones and be upfront with them and give them the chance for you to help each other work things out between each other. Yeah, they will most likely be pissed, but at least they will realize after the fire burns down that you didn't cheat, but have been having thoughts of it and they can respect you for being honest about it. To me, cheating happens because people, men and women do not have enough courage to sit down and truly look at their current relationship, with themselves and their significant other and deal with it. They take the easy way out and cheat to end it rather than fix it. Cheaters are just losers to me, men and women both. -------------- Bettia To be motivated, motivate others!
SFGiantsMVP Posts: 1,533 Joined: 2005/12/04	2006/12/21, 05:39 PM So if I get caught having a CHEAT MEAL you won't want me? How about just a cheat treat?
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2006/12/21, 05:47 PM We are talking about relationships, goof. But if you want to get specific about it, if someone lies, sneaks or hides something, that doesn't give me a good impression of their personality and would probably not end up holding my hand. -------------- Bettia To be motivated, motivate others!
msmogreen Posts: 717 Joined: 2006/04/22	2006/12/21, 06:06 PM I agree, Bettia. I wouldn't be with a man who cheats either. And if I really felt like I needed to be with another man besides my bf, I would break up with him before I'd cheat again. I think pretty much everyone agrees one should honor their commitments. But I don't see the point in hurting my significant other by telling him I am attracted to other men. Why cause him pain needlessly? I have evaluated the deficiencies in our relationship ad nauseum, and have addressed them with him more than once. I can work on the relationship knowing those deficiencies are the reason I am attracted to someone else without hurting him by telling him about the attraction. I also don't see any honor into hanging onto a marriage simply because you made a commitment when one or both are miserable. Life is way too short.
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2006/12/21, 06:19 PM The point on being in a miserable marriage I agree with you on only if, the both of you have tried to resolve the issues within the marriage or one person has tried their best and given their 100% with response from the other, before seeking separation. I don't believe anyone should have to be in a miserable state, but if you think about it, the vows you give to someone is not in happiness and strawberry fields, its in sickness,in health, through good times and bad..etc. Marriage isn't always cookies and cream, it is hard work. Possibly the hardest work on this earth. I am no Dr. Phil, believe me, this is just the way I think and my opinion, like everyone else on here. It's up to each individual to live their life how they choose. Now I have friends that I know have cheated and i've told them how I felt about it when they've asked, i've even gone as far as telling them that I really would not like to discuss that specific topic with them because I don't believe in it and they aren't going to like what they hear from me.You can bet that they hardly ever come to me for sympathy when it comes to that issue, because they will get none. Even though they are my friends, I still love them, but I would not consider an intimate relationship with them, it would be out of the question because i know how they are and most likely I wouldn't even go as far as trusting them around my significant other alone knowing they are like that as well, they know that and I know that. Am I a hardass because that is how I feel, yes to some maybe but that is who I am. I don't sugar coat things to make a friend feel better, I have always been known for pretty much telling it like it is, but I think that is why I have a lot of friends. Life is too short and you should only seek out relationships with people you genuinely want to surround yourself with. -------------- Bettia To be motivated, motivate others!
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2006/12/21, 06:19 PM and that was meant to read "no response from the other" sorry. -------------- Bettia To be motivated, motivate others!
msmogreen Posts: 717 Joined: 2006/04/22	2006/12/21, 06:36 PM Well, I do agree with much of what you say. My husband and I made a serious effort to work things out for 8 years beyond the first 7. I had plenty of time to do a lot of soul searching. I decided it wasn't normal or healthy for me or him to stay when I cringed to be touched by him, and cried everytime we 'made love'. I don't think I believe in 'forever' anymore which is why I will never get married again, unless I meet someone who is truly a soulmate. I see couples all the time who through trials and tribulations still love each other in the end. I would love that, but I haven't found it.
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2006/12/21, 06:39 PM You and me both sista...lol Good luck for you and Rickyshot. Me I am just living my life, enjoying my kids and the simple things life is bringing me, if he brings me Sir Lancelot along the way...woo-hoo! Yay for me, if not, I am content with that also. :) -------------- Bettia To be motivated, motivate others!
msmogreen Posts: 717 Joined: 2006/04/22	2006/12/21, 06:41 PM KC--do you really think the majority of men cheat??? I know so many nice guys that I know wouldn't cheat. Just good men for whom family is everything and who are so grateful to have their wives and kids. I don't know...maybe I'm living in the Twilight Zone.
	2006/12/21, 06:49 PM I fall into your twilight zone category. ============ Quoting from msmogreen: I know so many nice guys that I know wouldn't cheat. Just good men for whom family is everything and who are so grateful to have their wives and kids. I don't know...maybe I'm living in the Twilight Zone. ============= -------------- There is no such thing as a stupid questions. Just stupid people who ask questions.
SFGiantsMVP Posts: 1,533 Joined: 2005/12/04	2006/12/21, 06:50 PM But! If we cheat together then it should be fine, like we split the Pizza and then nobody gets hurt!
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2006/12/21, 07:00 PM <-------In the twilight zone! -------------- A little discipline at the table and at the gym might help reduce that belly! Ivan Montreal Canada (City of Festivals)
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2006/12/21, 07:42 PM LOL, SFGiant you are funny...lol -------------- Bettia To be motivated, motivate others!
msmogreen Posts: 717 Joined: 2006/04/22	2006/12/21, 08:11 PM Yeah, MVP, thanks for lightening things up!
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2006/12/21, 10:08 PM that explains a lot mvp! -------------- Curl Jockeys, get outta the squat rack! Warning:Deadlifting going on! 7707mutt@freetrainers.com
asimmer Posts: 8,201 Joined: 2003/01/07	2006/12/22, 08:28 AM rickyshot - I have to go back to the statement by msmogreen that perhaps you are attracted to these men..we don't always know that we are doing things, but we follow patterns that lead us to certain results because of deep inner beliefs we have about ourselves. You may be subconciously choosing these men because you feel you aren't worth not-being-cheated-on. Does that make sense? I am not saying you enjoy it, or that you are even aware that you are doing it, but something to examine. The other question that comes to mind is - do you begin new relationships with a clean slate, or do you carry over suspicion from the previous situation and let it effect your current situation? When you act like someone is going to cheat on you, or expect that somone is going to cheat on you, eventually that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I am not trying to make it sound like cheating is okay or like you drive them to it, but if you want to find a man who doesn't cheat, you need to examine your patterns and behaviors in the past. Professional therapy can help you identify things you might not see that contribute to your lousy taste in men, or your relationship patterns, etc. Men cheat, women cheat. I think partially it has been de-stigmatized by the media - watch the soaps or desperate housewives, or most primetime shows...casual sex and infidelity are pretty common fodder for the general public. We aren't taught to be self-disciplined in most areas of our lives, sex and relationships included. And there isn't as much value put on the act of sex, sex has been objectified along with the objectification of women. Recent studies show that we aren't designed to be with one life partner, so you are fighting your biological tendencies as well. I guess I am just offering up some reasons, but not excyuses. In the end what seperates us from animals in rut is our ability to stop and realize that there are consequences to our actions, and to make a conscious decision not to betray the person we are in a meaningful relationship with by having sex with someone else. Cheating is also a sign of self-esteem issues. There are many reasons that people feel the need to prove that they are attractive, prove they can still juggle more than one woman, show off their prowess, etc. If you can, try to feel sorry for them, it will at least help you on the act of forgiveness necessary to release yourself from the negativity that holding a grudge brings into your life. Move on, figure out yourself and what you are really looking for, and then the right, non-cheating, person may walk in the door. -------------- Until you value yourself you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. M. Scott Peck
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/12/22, 02:06 PM No kathy....don't worry...I'm not that cynical....most of the people I know wouldn't cheat....but I don't live in the twilight zone either...I try to never underestimate...I don't expect that because I believe they wouldn't they simply wouldn't...OR because I believe they would...they will...I will always expect the unexpected...life is safer that way... ============ Quoting from msmogreen: KC--do you really think the majority of men cheat??? I know so many nice guys that I know wouldn't cheat. Just good men for whom family is everything and who are so grateful to have their wives and kids. I don't know...maybe I'm living in the Twilight Zone. ============= -------------- \\"If you had one shot...or one oppurtunity to seize all you ever wanted...in one moment...would you capture it...or just let it slip\\" eminem
msmogreen Posts: 717 Joined: 2006/04/22	2006/12/23, 12:05 AM Yeah, I know. I really think under the right circumstances it could happen to the nicest guy. I do know men who cheat, I just wouldn't say that the vast majority do so.I guess when you said the majority cheat, it sounded like they did so casually...like it was an accepted guy thing. One of my coworkers has a husband who cheats, she knows it even though he will never admit to it. He has actually told her he wouldn't mind if she cheated. That, to me, is horrible. Another coworker's husband cheated on her with someone else at work. They had always been known as a very close couple who were still in love after several years of marriage and, though I didn't know him well, I thought he was one of those non-cheating types. So, I do see your point. I guess I've just been very lucky.
SFGiantsMVP Posts: 1,533 Joined: 2005/12/04	2006/12/23, 01:50 PM I cheated last night, came across the kids Halloween Candy:(!
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2006/12/23, 11:01 PM Is that still good MVP?? -------------- Bettia To be motivated, motivate others!
SFGiantsMVP Posts: 1,533 Joined: 2005/12/04	2006/12/23, 11:33 PM Oh Yeah!
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2006/12/24, 01:50 AM LOL, you are funny guy, I don't know if I would've eaten a month and a half old candy. -------------- Bettia To be motivated, motivate others!
SFGiantsMVP Posts: 1,533 Joined: 2005/12/04	2006/12/24, 01:55 AM It's wrapped and sealed! A 3 Pack of Whoopers and a Heath Mini Bar! To be totally honest I can get away with 1 to 2 mini Candies a day If I wanted too and still not get efected by it. I'm at about a 14% Body Fat % and it really doesn't effect me much because my daily diet is in check. Now If I was a 6 pack guy then I guess it would matter and for that is why I careless to be Mr 6 Pack.
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2006/12/24, 02:01 AM That's great where you're at, a lot lower bf than I am. I just look at a candy and I gain 5 lbs!! LOL! Which is why I stay away from the candy. Not really a big sweet eater myself anyways, but I do have a tendancy of "cheating" with non-fat mochas...lol -------------- Bettia To be motivated, motivate others!
SFGiantsMVP Posts: 1,533 Joined: 2005/12/04	2006/12/24, 02:06 AM A women lean % is in number higher then men. If I was a Bodybuilder I would be considered fat or on a bulk faze lol. Be in reality I'm not only leaner then most people outside the gym but most inside it too and the male side.
SFGiantsMVP Posts: 1,533 Joined: 2005/12/04	2006/12/24, 02:09 AM Body Fat Rating Scale Exceptionally Lean** MEN 6-10% WOMEN 10-15% Very Lean MEN 11-14% WOMEN 16-19% Lean MEN 15-18% WOMEN 20-25% Moderate MEN 19-24% WOMEN 26-29% Overfat* MEN 25%+ WOMEN 30%+
SFGiantsMVP Posts: 1,533 Joined: 2005/12/04	2006/12/24, 02:11 AM I dissagree with the highers, 24% is fat ass in a men IMO
bigandrew Posts: 5,146 Joined: 2002/10/21	2006/12/25, 08:32 PM Depends on how its disperced....I stay at 22% according to my scale....measured or pinched its higher.... But feel free to come say that to my face;) -------------- Get your bicep curling, cut off shirt, matching workout outfit wearing,flexing in mirror "toned" wanna-be ass , out of my squat rack! People don't reach thier true potental, only those who seek it.
bigandrew Posts: 5,146 Joined: 2002/10/21	2006/12/27, 11:46 PM but peopel cheat cause they aren't getting somthing from their realtionship, could be physical or mental -------------- Get your bicep curling, cut off shirt, matching workout outfit wearing,flexing in mirror "toned" wanna-be ass , out of my squat rack! People don't reach thier true potental, only those who seek it.
BILL06 Posts: 755 Joined: 2006/08/08	2006/12/29, 11:31 PM ive found if you've found your 1 true love, a soul mate, and you know it, why would you need to look anywhere else ever again ? did you know the dodo bird bred for life with only one mate, and if that mate died, so would he/she, sad... -------------- I find it very, very easy to be true I find myself alone when each day is through Yes, I\'ll admit that I\'m a fool for you Because you\'re mine, I walk the line
msmogreen Posts: 717 Joined: 2006/04/22	2006/12/30, 02:50 PM I believe that is true. Sadly, that person is hard to find and some of us never do. ============ Quoting from bill06: ive found if you've found your 1 true love, a soul mate, and you know it, why would you need to look anywhere else ever again ? did you know the dodo bird bred for life with only one mate, and if that mate died, so would he/she, sad... =============

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